You can't sweat out . . .

Upfront Week: NPH, Zack Morris and Sean Penn bowing down to my billiard skills

In Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! on May 28, 2009 at 11:56 pm

Last week, every major television network presented their programming schedules for the upcoming season.  Basically, it’s a week for advertisers to see new shows and their stars and then get boozed up afterward.  As an advertiser, it’s a good week.

I had a lot of dreams realized during the week at the various presentations.  One of my personal heroes, Neil Patrick Harris (NPH to those in the know), gave a rundown of the “Bro Code” at the CBS presentation.  The Bro Code, of course, is the laws of life his character, Barney Stinson, follows on How I Met Your Mother, one of the best shows on TV today.  This performance was followed, but not topped, by LL Cool J rapping a rendition of his classic hit “Mama Said Knock You Out,” which really has no tie-in to his CBS project NCIS: Los Angeles, but is a sweet jam nonetheless.    Plus it’s always fun to watch a bunch of middle-aged executives in the premium seats awkwardly raise their hands in the ayeere, and wave em like they just don’t caeere.

At the Turner (TBS/TNT/Tru TV) presentation, Mark-Paul Gosselaar was in attendance promoting the second season of his newest show on TNT, Raising the Bar. Which I have never seen.  I did, however, watch him come of age as a teenager at Bayside High.

The best night, as usual, belonged to FOX, as they presented their shows and then hosted a fantastic party at Wollman Rink in Central Park.  While nothing as crazy as the great couch crapping incident of 2004 happened, it was a party to end all parties.  The bars were stocked with bottles of virtually any beer you wanted, along with every conceivable type of booze, save moonshine and absinthe.  Stars from their shows were scattered around the party, providing photo ops.  So I grabbed a bottle of one of my beers of choice, and headed to get a picture taken with one of the most appealing stars in all of TV. . . John Walsh of America’s Most Wanted.

America's Most Wanted: Livin' the High Life

America's Most Wanted: Livin' the High Life

After the party ended, a large group of us left the park and entered a bar across the street, ordered some beers and proceeded to begin playing a few games of pool.   I was my buddy Storelli’s partner on the table, although he tried to replace me with a guy who was sitting on a couch about 15 feet from the table.  Normally, I would be offended by my partner trying to replace me mid-game, but 1. The High-Lifes were taking a toll on my dexterity and 2. The guy he was trying to replace me with won the Oscar for Best Actor this year.  That’s right, Storelli tried to do the old Sean switcheroo, upgrading from me to Sean Penn.

I wish the story ended with Sean Penn replacing me and then running the table, but it was not to be.  Instead, he quickly exited the bar after being recognized.  Or, as I will tell people for the foreseeable future, an Oscar winner chose to leave a bar because he knew he couldn’t match my skills on the pool table.  I win!

  1. John Walsh must have gotten your text about what suit and tie to wear. As for your pool playing skills, if your grandfather ever taught you anything about playing pool, it’s all about putting spin on the ball. Sean Penn wouldn’t stand a chance!

  2. Me to John Walsh: “I hope to never be on your TV show sir.”

    Nick to John Walsh: “I hope ya catch ’em!”

    John Walsh to us: “ahhh… you got any gum?”

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