You can't sweat out . . .

An Open Apology to the one, the only, the J-Bro

In Reader Response on October 14, 2009 at 11:52 pm

J-Bro, I believe we got off on the wrong foot.  You commented on the post “Miss Maine Susie Stauble does not understand security,” and echoed the comments of another reader, who posts under the name “Uncle Mike” (who may or may not be my uncle, named Mike).  You both commented on what a lovely young lady Miss Susie Stauble is.

And I have no doubt she is.  First, people from Maine are fucking RADICAL.  Pardon my use of the f-bomb, but in this instance, it is warranted.  Mainers are that sweet.  J-Bro, a fellow New York City transplant Mainer, knows it more than others.

The post on Susie is in no way to denigrate her.  Sure, she could have put her crown in a somewhat more secure location.  But this blog drips with sarcasm, and was more a parody on the ridiculousness of the USA Today state by state notes and how they are basically, dumb as hell.

I’m sure Susie is a talented, amazing girl.  And having been elected Miss Maine, she is obviously talented, and since she won a beauty pageant, attractive.

Which, without a doubt, played into how J-Bro was exposed to The Fever.  As The Illustrious Senior Beads pointed out, JSF is the first site that is listed after googling “Susie Stauble.”  Were you participating in a little google stalkery, J-Broham?

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  1. I think we can all agree that Ms. Stauble is really a peach. I also understand J-bro’s desire to fight stereotypical depictions of Mainers. But come on J-Bro you’re stretching it when you describe Maine as the land of scholars and gentlemen to strangers in NYC.

    This is the state of topless donut shops, topless coffee bars, snowmobiles, beat down trucks, camo, mullets, Walmart, BB guns, real guns, beer served at almost every conceivable location. Now all these things make Maine awesome but not an urban metropolis.

    I am all for attempts to change the perception of your state but embracing the stereotypes is the best course in the long run.

    I grew up and currently live in Jersey, worked in construction, married an Italian, and spend a lot of time at the Jersey Shore. I’m sure that conjures up all types of fun images/jokes and thankfully the good people at MTV have made sure to document them all in multiple TrueLife specials.

    Now, I fought the good fight for years but it was a fools errand. It was a fools errand because the reality in NJ is: wife beaters abound, techno music blares from clubs on the shore, political corruption and mob ties exist, and the bridge and tunnel crowd is all too real.

    So why fight it J-Bro. Embrace the wonderful stereotypes that give your state character. Hell, spread them every chance you get and then keep the good parts a secret. Because you can’t fight the truth that ME’s beauty queen used the back seat of her car as a vault.

    SUSIE STAUBLE FOR PRESIDENT

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