You can't sweat out . . .

Archive for April, 2010|Monthly archive page

Oh, hello again. This is what I think about facebook. At this moment.

In 1, People are so weird on April 21, 2010 at 12:14 am

Like many people in my generation, I populate two worlds: real life, and facebook life.  (I think I am a boring friend.  I don’t farm, I hate the mafia and I will never, ever, poke you.  But I will wish you a happy birthday until the day you die.  After which, unless apparently someone lets facebook know, your profile will be your virtual gravestone.  That got morbid fast.  Back to the main point at hand)  Facebook is a fantastic site for getting in touch, staying in touch, and of course, stalking people.  The usefulness of the site as a stalking tool cannot be underestimated.   It could only be a more effective stalking tool if it were, say, MySpace.  But that’s a whole different type of stalking.  On MySpace I feel like stalkers are targeting random people, or famous people, or people pretending to be someone else (read: famous).  Facebook, on the other hand, is all about being you.  And thanks to the trusty newsfeed feature, I know A LOT about a lot of people that I don’t really know that well.  While I have met every one of my “friends”, I wouldn’t say we are close associates in all cases.

I’ve been tempering my use lately, mostly because every time I sign onto the site now, I see stuff like this:

Note: I am too lazy to take a screen shot, edit said screen shot so my “friend”, if they somehow stumbled across my “blog” and saw “themselves” they would be “mad”.  I like my quotation marks like I like my pickles. . . extras.   Anyway, I’m just writing it out for you.

Female: “I start at [new job] in June!  YAY!!! Hanging out with my 2 buttfaces [girl] and [guy] 🙂 OH and EX’S SUCK!!!!!!!! Especially dead beat dad ex’s! URRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!”

BlankApparently buttfaces in this case as good things to be hanging with.  Also, she hates an ex who owns an exclamation point?

Get it?  Total grammar burn.

But then there are the statuses that make it all worthwhile, that bring me back to what facebook is great for: seeing what’s going on in actual friends’ lives without being the creepy annoying guy who calls/tweets/texts/sends notes/sends flowers/hires a messenger/sends e-cards/writes on your wall/pokes you/sends you private facebook messages/sends you requests to do something for them in a place called farmville (which can be a whole other dissertation if that’s what the people want)/uses smoke signals too often/actually *gasp* goes to see you in person.  Because you literally can’t make contact with your friends all the time, unless you have no friends, or you are super aggressive.  In which case, you may soon have no friends.

Because a lot of my “friends” double as my friends, and my friends are, in the words of Barney Stinson, legen- wait for it . . . -dary, I have the pleasure of seeing gems like this on my newsfeed:

Female: “Pick-up line du jour outside of the courthouse: Hey sweetness, I want you to send me a text.”

I guess the key is finding a balance.   Maybe not necessarily being friends with everyone from your high school biology class.  Sidenote- BEST PICK-UP LINE EVER