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Posts Tagged ‘Drinking Games’

On the temptations of being Uncle Jesse, and the awesomeness of Either/Or

In Uncle Jesse's Favorites on January 11, 2009 at 4:09 pm

Everyone knows that even though he was a wonderful husband, father and of course, uncle, Jesse Katsopolis had a wild side.  Now, this side didn’t make it onto ABC, and it sure as hell doesn’t show up now on ABC Family or Nick at Nite, but he was the front man and namesake of a band that hit the national stage when their Beach Boys-cover “Forever” earned them a record deal and cross-country tour.  It’s only common sense that he hit the bottle hard, and often*.  Being on the road, away from the grounding influences of  the Tanner household, long nights at the bar after a show in front of a raucous crowd would turn into longer nights back in the hotel, where Jesse’s room served as a meeting place for the Rippers and their groupies.  As he was committed to Aunt Becky, he would drown his loneliness with Jack Daniels rather than dive into the willing arms of the nearest Amber, Tiffany or Melusina (the Rippers, riding the coattails of their front man, enjoyed a bevy of Greek women who wanted, nay, needed to be in Jesse’s vicinity).  After these long nights, Jesse would stumble out of bed long after Danny and Becky had titillated viewers on Wake Up, San Francisco. He would look himself in the mirror and know that while the fans needed him, there were four women back in San Francisco who needed him more.

Inevitably, however, he would become bored with just sitting around drinking, and whatever room he was staying in would become the most sought after drinking game in town.  Now, we all remember the great Kings game of 1989, where the final king was not revealed until the very last card, and one round where Jesse drew a 9 (9, 9, Bust a Rhyme) lead to an eight minute rhyme during which ninety-seven words were invented and immediately added to the English lexicon.  Then, of course, there is the legendary Rippers Beer Pong Tournament of 1991, where Jesse made 17 shots in a row, including one blindfolded.  But perhaps the greatest gift that Uncle Jesse gave us was when he invented the drinking game “Either/Or”**.

The rules of the game are as simple as its name.  One person asks an either/or question.  For example, “Uncle Jesse or Uncle Joey?”  Starting with the player directly to the left of the person who asked the question, each participant answers which they prefer.  There are absolutely no clarifying questions allowed.  After each player answers, the originator answers his or her preference.

There are three possible outcomes:

1) All those who answered the opposite the originator owe a drink.

2) If no one agrees with the originator, (s)he drinks.

3) If everyone answers the same as the originator, it is a social.  In this case, as everyone would obviously say Uncle Jesse, everyone would take a drink.

The person to the left of the originator now asks a new question, and the game continues.

This game completely, utterly and without fail, gives me the fever.  If I had my way, I would play Either/Or everyday.  You can play it with or without drinking, so it is always available.  You can play it at your house.  You can play it with your spouse.  You can play it on in your car, you can play it at a bar.  You can play it in the park, you can play it after dark.  Ok, I’m done rhyming.

* Please note: this, and most other forthcoming assertions in this menial essay have been determined through reading Uncle Jesse’s body language over a variety of seasons, in a wide manner of situations, a la Simon Baker on The Mentalist. The only difference is while Baker just reads the script every week, I can actually do this.

** This game was actually introduced to me by a co-worker, but I have to imagine it was invented by Uncle Jesse, as it is almost too awesome for a mere mortal to create.